old

another round of 31 556 926 seconds, 525 948.766 minutes, 8765.81277 hours, 365 days, 52.117457 weeks, 12 months.

can you stop wasting it, please?

let's start with a bang, end with a bang.

on the road

where am i going with this?

when push comes to shove..

can you do it?

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
`I love her for her smile ... her look ... her way
Of speaking gently, ... for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of pleasant ease on such a day'
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee,--and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheeks dry,
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.

If thou must love me... - Elizabeth Barrett Browning

on going bucket list

포항 중화각 

time to get selfish.

october..

emo season.

pessimism lives on.

life sucks, period

I am currently writing under a slight influence of alcohol and complete lack of sleep.

 

I am ashamed. My attitude towards academics has not changed from last semester. My faith has not change.

 

My life has been quite dull and unimpressive.

 

I have let down my parents all through high school and past my freshman year, and here, I am about to repeat this process.

 

This is when I realize what is wrong with me, and I feel the need to change.

I do not have a purpose to my life. I do not have any goals that will help me grow as a human being. The only goal I have would be to make money.

 

Every time I sit on my desk, useless thoughts constantly enter and leave my head. I feel no urge to get to my best. I have no sense of competition. I dwell in the average. I try to find the easy way out of everything.

 

What have I taken with me last semester? Nothing.

 

There is no point in saying positively reinforcing advices to myself anymore, because there is no way I am going to be doing worse than this.

 

I am rotten from inside to the outside.

 

Never have I been this pessimistic about myself. 

...

sigh...

school's just begun...

and im already procrastinating.

focus, man, focus!

quotes quotes quotes

people who are older and smarter definitely say the smarter shit.
they also put the smarter shit in movies, too.
take a gander.


"Adults are, like, this mess of sadness and phobias."
- Mary, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind

"I dont care if it hurts
I want to have control
I want a perfect body
I want a perfect soul
I want you to notice
When Im not around
Youre so fuckin special
I wish I was special"
- Creep by Radiohead

"You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world."
- Fight Club

"밥은 먹고 다니냐?"
"여기가 강간의 왕국이냐?"
- 살인의 추억

Mathilda: Leon, I think I'm kinda falling in love with you.
[Leon chokes on his milk]
Mathilda: It's the first time for me, you know?
Léon: [wiping himself off] How do you know it's love if you've never been in love before?
Mathilda: 'Cause I feel it.
Léon: Where?
Mathilda: [stoking her stomach] In my stomach. It's all warm. I always had a knot there and now... it's gone.
Léon: Mathilda, I'm glad you don't have a stomach ache any more. I don't think it means anything.
- Léon




Lots going on in my head.

(reflections)

move on, little one!

woot!

i'm in pohang, south korea
and im working.

growth

growing,
failing,
repenting,
fixing,
rising,
failing,
growing,
fixing,
mourning,
despising,
hating,
rising,
growing

lambda.

thats right.

ΛΦΕ
#74 Bowflex
X Chapter
Omicron Class, Spring 2008

April 12th 2008
10:02 am

kiss goodbye.

I fail as a human being.

time to trackback...

school is an asylum.
insane, asylum.

and god is the warden.

sometimes.

being a self concious college student
i sometimes wonder,

what others would think of me?
would my shirt make me look boring?
does my hair make me look dirty?
was what i said very rude?
does she find me attractive?
am i too short?

and i know for sure, no one is going to give you an answer that will make you perfectly content.
and i am so sick of asking these questions.


sometimes, i wish i suddenly disappeared then look down and see how big of an empty space
i would leave on this world.


now this has brought forth a chain thought,
would i have to start making myself look better?
should i donate, sacrifice and be a hypocrite?
does what other people say, see and do matter?


what really, truly, matters in the end?


i dont know. sometimes i wish it just lays out in front of me.
keeping it 'real' is naive and being sophiscated is too troublesome.


i just wanna lie down on a grove
under a big willow tree
and watch the clouds pass by,
alone,
and
forever.